


Tonight's Host: Richie Tozier

by rotted_core



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King, Saturday Night Live, Saturday Night Live RPF, Weekend Update (SNL)
Genre: M/M, Richie is Stefon's nephew AU!, and that's about it, reddie are about 13/14 here. after the events of chapter one, this is super meta and felt so weird to write lol, welcome to 'i'm self indulgent and for some reason think it's a good idea to share fics'
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-12
Updated: 2020-01-12
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:46:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22224319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rotted_core/pseuds/rotted_core
Summary: Stefon and Seth Meyers decide to take Richie and Eddie out to New York City for their spring break, giving Richie the best present he could ever receive.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Seth Meyers/Stefon
Comments: 15
Kudos: 73





	Tonight's Host: Richie Tozier

**Author's Note:**

> this is so meta and i have a weird guilt about writing real people lol don't look at me

Richie could not sit still to save his life. He and Eddie decided to take the bus to New York to meet up with his auntie and uncle for the entirety of spring break. Of course Richie asked about all the clubs his auntie was going to hit up, to which he got the answer of, “No, Richie Tozier, I think this spring break I’m going to cart around my favorite nephew and his cute cute cute boyfriend,” before covering his mouth and nose. 

“Can you believe it, Eds? We’re gonna go on the actual set of SNL,” Richie said, grabbing Eddie’s knee and all but shaking him in his seat, getting his hand shoved away, “I’m gonna see where Auntie and Uncle Seth Meyers met! Oh my god, what if they let me sit on the set of Weekend Update?” He asked and copied his auntie’s mannerism of lifting his hands to his face. It seemed to be a trade-off of a new tic anytime they were around each other, or so Eddie noticed. 

“Yeah, yeah, just don’t pop a boner on the bus, Richie.” Eddie chided, even if he found Richie’s literal shaking in excitement all too adorable. He leaned his elbow against the window of the bus and rested his cheek on his fist. 

Richie ruffled Eddie’s hair roughly. “Shut up, asshole, I’m excited!” He pointed out uselessly. “I’m gonna be there one day on that stage, in front of all those people and cameras, I know it. I wonder how young you have to be to get on the show…” 

“Don’t you need to have original jokes other than “your mom” ones to get on? I don’t think they’d let you on just because you’re Stefon and Seth’s nephew.” Eddie said as he fixed his hair with a sneer. 

“Good point,” Richie admitted with a mumble, squinting at Eddie briefly. He hated when he was right. He huffed and blew some stray curls away from his forehead. “Just watch, Eds--”

“Don’t call me that.” 

“--it’s going to happen and you’ll be sitting back at home, watching me be all funny and shit, then have John Mulaney make me a character to go along with Stefon or Drunk Uncle or some shit like that, and you’re gonna laugh so hard you puke. Bet.” He challenged, grinning at Eddie’s second sneer. 

“Don’t even joke about that! Fuckin’ disgusting,” Eddie shivered and shook his head, “I’m not betting you money on something that’s gonna happen in like, ten years.” 

“You never know!” Richie barked back, receiving a sharp shh! from someone behind them. He waved a hand at them before adding quietly. “You’re just mad jealous.” 

Eddie rolled his eyes. He wasn’t really, he didn’t think he could handle all the cameras, people watching him both around him and on tv, and the pressure of keeping his shit together. No way. He shook his head. “I’m not jealous only because I couldn’t do it. I’d choke just getting the offer.” 

“I’m sure you’d be fine, although you’re much better with on the spot than cue cards, probably. Not that we’ve ever been in a spot where we need cue cards.” Richie went off on another ramble, poking his glasses back up his nose. “I’ll just have to give you a special shoutout in my signing off speech.” He promised, pinching Eddie’s cheek and getting yet another slap to the top of his hand. 

The bus finally pulled into the station and Richie hopped off, nearly vibrating with excitement, physically unable to sit still. Shifting his weight from foot to foot, twitching and snapping his fingers, almost forgetting to take the driver that grabbed his suitcase out from the undercarriage of the bus, making Eddie have to remind him and Richie all but shouted at the poor man, to which Eddie then had to apologize for, kicking Richie’s ass as he walked away. 

“Do you just forget how to function like this or what?” Eddie asked just as he heard a familiar voice from over the hum of the lively station. 

“Richie Tozier and Eddie Kaspbrak! Over here!” 

Much akin to a dog hearing his name, Richie bolted off into the direction of Stefon’s voice, letting his suitcase roll away as he all but leapt onto his auntie, who was just tall enough to catch him and not bobble back, hugging tightly around his nephew and swing him around. 

Eddie followed after at a slower, more relaxed pace, shaking his head and giving Seth a smile and nod. “Hi, Mr. Meyers,” he said to the other man, who had been watching the interaction fondly. 

“How was the trip, Eddie? Please, just Seth,” Seth added, tousling Eddie’s hair much kinder than Richie always did, making him smile again. 

“It was fine, we didn’t get kicked off of it at least. The seat was stupidly stiff and had gross stains on it, but it got us here alive.” Eddie answered. 

Stefon set Richie down and fixed his glasses and hair for him with ever delicate fingers. “How I’ve missed you, Richie Tozier. It just wasn’t the same after Disneyland not hearing your awful potty mouth.” He said in a playful tone, but truly meant it all the same. 

“Well, you’ve got me for a whole week!” Richie declared with a beam, putting his fists on his hips. He laughed when Stefon pinched both of his cheeks, another tic he had gotten from Richie, much to Seth’s misfortune. 

Seth patted Stefon’s back and picked up Richie’s suitcase to roll back to him. “Okay, you three, let’s get back to the apartment and get you settled and unpacked,” he said to Richie and Eddie, “then we can start with… well, whatever it is you kids want to do and see.” He figured they could save the tour of the set later in the week, towards the time the boys had to go back home. 

They nodded and Seth lead them back to the car, setting their suitcases in the trunk and dropping into the driver’s seat. Stefon turned in the passenger seat, hands tucked between his knees. “There’s so so so so so much to do in New York City, boys, I’m not sure just how we can possibly get it all done.” He said in a thoughtful tone, closing his eyes briefly and humming. “Well, we could always walk around Time Square,” he started, now counting on his fingers, “get in a ton of pictures of you two, don’t you worry, I will print all of them out to send home with you,” he assured. 

“You’ll be going home with an asinine amount of photos, I hope you two are prepared. Well, Richie might already be used to it.” Seth said and smiled at Richie in the rear view, getting a nod in reply as Stefon was speaking again, tapping Seth’s arm to quiet him. 

“Don’t interrupt me with such rude words, Seth Meyers, photos are permanent memories.” 

“Damn, Auntie, that’s fuckin’ deep.” Richie mused in slight surprise, now his turn to be shushed. 

“We can skate at Rockefeller, of course, that’s where all the touristy stuff happens.” He said with a click of his tongue, fixing his hair by his ears. “You can’t go to New York and not ride the underground subways and see a rat almost the size of your forearm, so we’ll do that, too.” 

That made Eddie gag, covering his mouth with his wrist. “Can we maybe skip that one?” 

“Oh, don’t worry, Eddie Kaspbrak, Seth Meyers or myself can hold you off of the ground so none of them could touch you.” Stefon said and Richie laughed, getting a glare and punch to the knee in response, making him hunch over and hold it. “You boys… so rough.” He chided with a shake of his head. 

“Yeah, that’s what Eddie’s mom says,” Richie immediately quipped, covering his head with his arms when Eddie turned to face him. 

Seth piped in quickly. “No fighting in the car!” He said firmly, catching the sneers and Richie poking his tongue out at Eddie before they sat properly again. He easily hid his surprise that it actually worked, glancing to Stefon when he felt his hand on his knee, smiling at him. 

He got out their suitcases once they parked and motioned to their apartment complex, both boys looking up at it with awed expressions. “You kids act like you’ve never been in a proper city before,” he teased. 

“We haven’t,” Eddie answered much to Seth and Stefon’s surprise. 

“Wait, really?” Stefon asked. “Surely your moms have taken you somewhere besides dusty ass Derry?” 

Richie and Eddie shared a look between each other before shaking their heads. “No,” Richie started, “you really think Mom’d want to go anywhere else?” He asked and Stefon slowly nodded. He knew his sister well enough to know that she would not take Richie to see the big city. He motioned Richie to continue. “So, yeah, excuse us for being awed by your fucking amazing ass apartment complex.” He said, putting his free hand over his eyes to block out the sun, the other laced with Eddie’s. 

Seth further impressed the boys by simply having to tap a card against a small box by the door to get in and repeat the process in the elevator. “I swear, it’s like you two don’t know technology. You have iPhones in your pockets right now!” He pointed out with an amused smile, just glad he can do something so simple and ultimately amuse both kids.

“Derry doesn’t have a single two story building! I’m pretty sure Billy goat’s the only one with a two story house,” Richie said. 

“Nuh-uh, Mike has one, too,” Eddie reminded him and Richie nodded. 

“And Haystack.” 

“Wait, Bev lives in an apartment complex, dipshit.” Eddie added, both of them dissolving into a discussion about all of the buildings in their hometown that were over one story or not, leaving Stefon and Seth to shrug at one another. Their ability to bicker about anything while holding hands all the while was truly astonishing. 

Seth lead them into their apartment and tossed the keys into the bowl on the small entryway table, stepping in to head back for he and Stefon’s bedroom, leaving him to show the kids to where they would be staying and the rest of the rather obscure place. A mixture of clean and modern, from Seth, and… everything else unimaginable. Eddie jumped slightly at a large mask hanging on the other side of the wall. 

“Do you like it? I stole it from some club when I was really tripping. I ended up back home only wearing that.” Stefon explained casually, petting the feathers of the mask before walking off. 

Eddie looked at Richie in concern but he only shrugged, tugging him along by the hand to follow his auntie. “Your place kinda feels like a fever dream, Auntie. I like it,” he said, smiling when Stefon did over his shoulder. 

“Thank you, Richie Tozier. Seth Meyers and I had so many issues with how to decorate so we took turns bringing stuff in. I would say we did a good job.” Stefon said and beamed more when the boys nodded their agreement. He motioned to the kitchen before walking them towards the hallway. “Now I’m trusting you boys to share a room together, okay? I don’t want to hear anything breaking because Richie Tozier made you all too mad, okay, Eddie Kaspbrak?” He asked. 

Eddie nodded. “Yes, Auntie.” 

Stefon nodded back and pinched Eddie’s cheek. “There’s a good boy. Seth Meyers, unfortunately, wouldn’t let me decorate this room so it’s awfully bare.” He apologized, ushering both boys in. “Now, unpack everything and get a shower. We have so much to do. This city never sleeps, you know, boys, and neither do I.”

“Aye aye, Auntie! We’ll be ready in no time.” Richie chirped and gave him a salute, then turned to Eddie. “I call dibs on the shower first,” he said, untangling their hands to rush back out of the room, nearly knocking his auntie down in his efforts to lock himself in the bathroom. 

Eddie wasn’t far behind, yelling all the while. “That’s not fucking fair!” 

Stefon fixed his hair, looking at Eddie then to the shut bathroom door with wide eyes. This was going to be a lot more than he probably anticipated. 

\-----------------------------

The week had gone by faster than Richie would have liked and dragged a little more than Stefon and Seth had thought it would. As much as they both loved the kid, really, they did, his energy just sapped them of all of theirs. From galavanting through Times Square and Central Park just to let the two boys run out their energy while the adults sat back to catch a small break, their week had been coming to a close. 

“I hope you boys have had the time of your little lives here with us,” Stefon said to Richie and Eddie, all of them still bundled up from the chilly March air coupled with the ice from Rockefeller. 

“Hell yeah we have, just as fun as Disney was! Except when Eddie bitched me out for a week straight after he was so sure Mickey Mouse got him sick.” Richie answered. 

“He did! It was after he kissed my hand, I know it. All mice do is carry diseases and that asshole isn’t an exception.” Eddie argued. 

Stefon smiled at their bickering, looking to Seth as he spoke up. “I think I have one more thing in store, if you boys aren’t too tired, that is.”

“Sure, what is it?” Richie questioned as he fought to get his jacket off without having to undo his seatbelt. 

“There’s some cool Broadway shows on right now, so I was thinking one of those.”

Richie’s heart sank slightly. Had they honestly forgotten the SNL tour? He didn’t want to bring it up and seem too rude, his auntie and uncle had paid for everything they’ve done so far, so he decided to bite his tongue and nod. “Okay, sure. I don’t think I’ve ever actually seen a show before.” He said, easily dusting over the disappointment he felt and glancing out the window. 

Stefon had to cover his smile. That was almost too easy. 

It was going to be an even better surprise when they pulled up to the set when Richie fell asleep, mouth open and glasses askew, an adorable image Stefon just had to steal a picture of, cooing to Seth about his precious nephew before reaching back to gently jostle his knee. “Wakey wakey, Richie Tozier, we’re at the show.” 

Nodding, Richie got out of the car sluggishly, fixing his glasses and hair, looking up and expecting to see the infamous Broadway sign, instead looking to a rather drab looking building. “Is this a storage house?” He asked as he stretched. 

“Why would they take us to a storage house, moron? Maybe to throw you in a room and lock you in there.” Eddie said and yelled as Richie made a move to shove him, only stopping to follow his auntie and uncle, grabbing for his hand instead. 

It took Richie longer than he would like to admit to realize just where he was, he would blame it on falling asleep, but when he saw the first poster proclaiming “Saturday Night Live” he almost screamed. 

“You guys didn’t forget!” He said, eyes almost as wide as his frames as he looked around almost frantically. “Oh my god, this whole time I thought you guys had forgotten and were gonna send me home without even getting to see it.” He explained, hands going to his face as he started to walk blindly forward, stopping only when Seth nearly picked him up to pull him back. 

“Slow down, Richie,” he laughed, “we’ll show you around. Don’t wanna get lost, do you?” He asked and returned the smile Richie gave him. 

Eddie smiled to himself at seeing Richie’s reactions, probably the happiest he had seen him the entire trip, almost anxious with it by the fretting hands at his shirt like it pained him not to reach out and touch everything comedic legends, as he would probably say, had touched on their way to the stage. He was pulled from his thoughts when he felt a hand on his shoulder, not needing to look up to know it was Stefon’s. 

“You could not be more obviously in love, Eddie Kaspbrak,” he mused, making Eddie blush hotly. He opened his mouth to argue but Stefon put a finger to his own lips, pointing instead to where Seth was explaining to Richie about one of the many dressing rooms, pulling out his phone to get pictures of Richie’s expression of pure adoration and awe at both Seth and all the clothes. “Could you imagine the sort of awe he feels? This is my every weekend so I pay it no mind, you know? But to Richie Tozier this is just… wow.” He said, his voice dropping into a randomly deep tone that Eddie had heard on the show and real life many times, but still could never get used to. 

Eddie nodded. “I think I know, Auntie. I can’t go a weekend without Richie blowing up my phone asking if I’m watching or not.” He rolled his eyes with no real annoyance behind it, doing it more so out of principle. “Don’t get me started on when I actually go over to watch it with him, he doesn’t even move until it’s a commercial break.” 

“So cute… cute, cute, cute,” Stefon said and shook his head with each repeat. “You keep those memories, won’t you, Eddie Kaspbrak? Remember your coke bottle glasses wearing boyfriend being an absolute geek over grown-ups reading off cue cards, especially the ones that John Mulaney like to change.” He said, giving Eddie a pat on the head before walking off to join the others, leaving Eddie almost dizzy. If he and Seth were drained from Richie, Eddie felt the same with Stefon. 

“We have more hidden pathways and rooms than I could probably count,” Seth was saying to Richie, pointing out one of the pathways that lead through the building. “Makes it easier for surprise guests to walk in unnoticed.” He explained. 

“Oh, yeah, I remember seeing some stuff like that on Jimmy Fallon’s episode! That was so cool, I’ve probably watched that episode more times than I can count. The hallways look so tiny and small, I don’t know how you guys fit through there.” Richie said, brushing a hand over one of the props laid out for what he guessed would be used for the upcoming episode tomorrow. 

Seth smiled with a shake of his head. “We don’t, really. It’s almost panic inducing, especially if you’re a few seconds late to get into a skit.”

“You think they’d widen it up,” Richie agreed with a knock to one of the bare wooden beams. 

“That would be nice, yeah, but Lorne’s more of a writing guy, not a carpenter.” Seth shrugged, looking over his shoulder to wave Stefon and Eddie to follow them. He had gotten the text that everyone was ready. He was glad that it was a Friday and most everyone was already nearby for this surprise, not that he thought Richie would be disappointed just getting to meet one or two people on the cast. “One sec, Richie, wanna close your eyes? This part will really blow your mind.” He said and waited for Richie to put his hands over his eyes before Seth opened the door leading to the main stage, where the cast all beamed and shifted, waving to both him and Stefon, who hurried over and kissed Kate McKinnon’s cheek. 

Seth pulled Richie’s hands away and they all gave a loud, “Welcome!” and Richie’s knees nearly buckled. 

Eddie would be lying if he said he wasn’t just as excited, gaping at the amount of stupidly famous people just in one room, covering his grin with a hand. 

“So this is the nephew you’ve been talking about,” John Mulaney said mostly to Richie when he walked up to him, actually rendering him speechless.

“Yes, this is Richie Tozier, the cutest nephew I’ll ever have the chance to be related to. Eddie Kaspbrak, too, but that will be by marriage,” Stefon explained, putting his hands on John’s shoulders, “Richie Tozier, this is the bastard who changes your auntie’s lines and makes him cry on national tv, John Mulaney.” 

Richie could barely lift his hand to put against John’s outstretched one, the floodgates breaking open when he actually felt him squeeze it. “You’re the best writer on this show!” He barked, making Stefon and John blink, but Richie kept going. “Literally, every single skit gets right to my giggle dick and I can’t stop laughing and can barely even hear the tv anymore an-and everything, I mean, everything you write for my auntie is just-- untouchable.” 

Eddie was used to himself talking fast, but Richie? Good god, he could hardly keep up. 

“Wow, maybe we should hire this kid to boost my ego,” John joked, putting his other hand atop Richie’s to squeeze again, giving him a smile. “Thank you, Richie, I really do appreciate it. It’s fun getting to write such terrible, awful things to make people laugh. Or in your auntie’s case, cry.” He said and Richie laughed. 

He and Eddie got to meet the rest of the cast, leaving them both quite honestly in shock. Richie sat amongst all of them, listening to them talk and joke, up until Fred fucking Armisen tapped Richie’s shoulder and nodded to the rest of the stage. 

“Hey, why don’t you stand up there? Get some practice in before you’re thrown out to the dogs.” He suggested and Richie perked up. 

“Really?” He asked, getting several agreements from the others and he stood, feeling slightly nervous, looking to the empty spot in the middle where many others have stood before him, and he wasn’t even being on the show, just standing there like a moron. But he was going to take the chance, standing as the cast looked on, Stefon smiling fondly as he watched his ever cocky nephew suddenly clam up, flushing from all the attention on him. 

“I’m here, now what?” Richie asked, slightly dancing in place, practically able to hear the jazz band playing behind him. 

“Do a flip,” Eddie called, feeling giddy when he made some of the cast members laugh. 

“Do a welcome speech, or a goodbye speech,” Andy suggested, making Richie purse his lips in thought. “Trust me, it’s either the hardest and easiest thing. At least with goodbyes you just say whatever, god forbid you get a skit as your opening.” He said with a nudge to John. 

Richie covered his face almost anxiously, swaying himself in thought as to what he could say. He was on the stage of SNL, granted, there wasn’t a proper audience except mega stars, but whatever, Richie wasn’t nervous. Not at all. “I’d like to thank the amazing cast for having me on and putting up with me, my auntie and uncle for making this happen, and of course, the one who will probably get me here one day, Eddie.” Richie said, one hand on his chest and the other outstretched to the other theatrically.

Eddie flushed hotly from Richie’s words, the outstretched hand, and Stefon cooing all the while along with the other cast members. “I didn’t say anything about you making it up here,” he tried to argue as he took Richie’s hand to be pulled up onto the stage, returning the side hug he got as Richie pretended to wave off the audience and bow as the cast clapped. 

“You’re a natural, a natural!” John praised, making Richie’s heart jump into his throat. “Say, before you kids leave, wanna do a skit we probably won’t ever get to air? Keep it on the downlow, though.” 

Richie looked to Stefon as if to ask permission, making him laugh. “I don’t know why you’re silently asking me with those big puppy eyes, Richie Tozier, you’re free to say yes if you would like to.” He said, pushing Richie by the shoulders so he was closer to John. 

“Alright, guys, let’s set up!” He said and all but whisked Richie away, who turned over his shoulder to beam at Eddie, one he couldn’t help but send back his way.

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you enjoyed this indulgent little fic!


End file.
